If I Only Had a Heart
by sleepwell
Summary: Damon thwarted by a woman is Damon with a scheme, he needs a plan for revenge.  And this one involves the seemingly vulnerable Jeremy Gilbert. Season 3. Slash. Please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

If I Only Had A Heart

He hated mornings. The light moving steadily across the room, the sun's bright rays seeking and eventually shining on the sleeping figure beside him. Causing the tousle-headed, gently snoring object of his nocturnal affection to stir.

He dreaded mornings. The lifting of the heavy eyelids, the soft doe like gaze and sleepy smile almost instantaneously replaced with eyes reflecting pain, lips trembling with sorrow. As reality flooded back, erasing the memories of the night before.

He detested mornings. The turning over, the pulling away from his touch, the rejection of his attempt at comforting. The silent form lying still, on the opposite side of the large bed, not responding to his empty attempts at providing words of solace.

He loathed mornings. Resented the ripping away of temporary pleasure, the fleeting comfort sought and found in each other's bodies. The peace that was theirs for a few hours each night before dawn destroyed what they had fought to build.

Sighing, he rolled over and dragged himself, naked, from the bed. Made to leave the tomb-like bedroom to seek refuge in the stinging shower. Heard her light footstep in the hall. Shit. What was she doing here? And why hadn't he been aware of her arrival?

Turning, he found himself staring into wounded eyes, eyes that now also mirrored another emotion, one he couldn't quite discern. "Your sister is here," he announced quietly.

"Figures" was the response, the voice flat, devoid of emotion. "She texted me at least a million times last night. She's probably coming to ask you to help find me. Tell her you don't know where I am." He pulled the covers over his head, effectively ending the interchange.

With vampire speed, he pulled on pants discarded hastily many hours before and stepped out into the cold hallway, pausing to shut the bedroom door behind him. Turning, he confronted Elena, now only steps away.

"Well, well. Breaking and entering. How very un-'All-American-Girl-Next-Door' of you. Oh, I forgot. This humble abode is your home as well. So," he continued, performing a mock bow, "To what do I owe this early morning visitation? Missing me?"

Elena shot him a look. "Jeremy didn't come home again last night. He isn't answering my texts or picking up his voice mail. He left the party with Matt but Matt says he's sure he saw him going into the house." She stopped and looked up at him. Christ, what was it with these Gilberts and their puppy-dog eyes?

"Well, did you check under the beds and in the closets? Maybe he's developed some weird drug-induced aversion to sleeping on mattresses. Didn't you say he'd started smoking weed again?" Her glare substituted clearly for her unspoken words.

Throwing up his hands, he declared, "OK. OK. But I don't know where he is, Elena. He certainly isn't here or I'd have heard him stumbling around. I'm sure he'll turn up safe and sound, eventually."

Elena slumped against the wall. Shaking her head she whispered, "I don't know how to help him, Damon. He's suffering and I can't make it better. Alaric left last night. He feels like he's not helping either. Jeremy is slipping away again, and I've been too busy trying to find Stefan, dealing with my own stuff, I haven't been there for him."

She began to cry softly. Reaching out, he pulled her in for a hug. It was torture to touch her, to hold her slight body against his. They had tried to put the kiss behind them. He got that she had only been trying to comfort him, believing him to be dying, but God help him, he still loved her.

Even as the self-confession raced through his mind, he felt a pang of guilt, remorse, as his mind's eye pictured the young man hiding out in his bedroom.

* * *

><p>How had he ever gotten himself into this mess? He tried to tell himself that things had happened accidentally, that he hadn't set out with a plan to get Jeremy Gilbert into his bed. But, if he was being honest with himself, the events leading up to that first time hadn't entirely been due to happenstance.<p>

The physical healing from that Lockwood cur's bite was complete, as if it had never happened. The emotional pain inflicted that night and the ones following never receded. It nipped at his heels as he spent his days searching for Stefan, it gnawed at him every time he allowed himself to think of Elena and her admission of love, her lips on his, and gouged at his stomach whenever he thought of the future.

A future without Stefan. With Elena as his 'friend'. He foresaw himself stuck for an eternity in Mystic Falls, relegated to the tedious task of protecting both the annoying otherworldly creatures and the equally tiresome humans living within its confining city limits. Shit.

So he began to drink. A lot. And often. He travelled far afield to compel and fed on stupid, trusting mortals. Spent the balance of his nights having mindless, boring sex with Andie. Until her endless prattle, her useless attempts at easing his mind drove him to banish her from the boarding house.

And then one sleepless night, a few weeks after Stefan's departure. He found himself at the cemetery, wandering aimlessly through the rows of headstones. Bottle of bourbon in hand, he paused to take a long swig.

Heard the shouting, the swearing coming from across the dark expanse. In a vampire instant, he found himself face to face with a distraught Jeremy Gilbert. Who stopped mid-yell in shock at his sudden appearance.

"What the hell, Gilbert?" He exclaimed, "Screaming at dead people? Well, dead _vampires_ to be technically accurate. I doubt that Vicki or Anna can hear your little tirade. Seriously, your outburst is only serving to frighten the neighborhood raccoons and the residential skunks."

"Fuck off, Damon" retorted the still visibly startled teen. "Just leave me the hell alone." Jeremy's words were full of bravado but he could sense the tension in the younger male.

Suddenly he felt sorry for the obviously suffering youngster. He decided to change tactics. "I'm just giving you a rough time, little Gilbert. You probably have your reasons for calling out to non-existent vampires. I seem to recall you had a 'thing' for both of them. And you're going through a tough time. That's bound to dredge up old stuff. Make you irritated at the 'dearly departed'."

Jeremy began to stride away from him. Furiously he threw back over his shoulder, "You don't know me, asshole. Go fuck yourself with your psycho-babble bull shit."

Ouch. The kid was _really_ angry. He got anger. And he wasn't one to walk away from the possibility of conflict. Sparring with others distracted him. So without really planning it, he found himself once again blocking Jeremy's path.

"Whoa there, Gilbert. Don't get your boxers all in a knot. I wasn't trying to analyze you, I'll leave that to your sister and Alaric. I was simply trying to make sense of the sight of you yelling expletives in a dark, empty cemetery. Maybe you're high?" He peered into the other male's dark eyes. Reached out a hand with the intent of pulling Jeremy's face closer to his own.

With some force, his arm was knocked away. "I told you to fuck off. Jesus, Damon. You are such a jerk. Why can't you go away? It's none of your business what I'm doing, if I'm high or not, or where I choose to hang out." But the boy looked defeated, deflated. He balanced himself precariously on a squared-off tombstone, supporting himself on extended arms. The tall teen closed his eyes and sighed loudly.

He found himself staring intently at the young male's face. The family genes were evident, even with the eyes shut. Although Elena's constant, pinched look wasn't evident, the familiar way of holding her mouth when stressed was.

It gave him pause. Jeremy Gilbert. Alone, vulnerable. Needing an ally, a shoulder to lean on. Maybe even to cry on. That would totally piss Elena off. If it was _him_ that Jeremy came to rely on, turned to in his time of need.

The more he thought about it, the more he warmed to the idea. Retribution could be his. Pay back, so to speak, for her daring to trifle with his affections, playing with his emotions. It seemed only fair that he could cause her some pain in return. Or, at the very least, cause her to interact with him on a subject other than Stefan.

Oh yes, this could be fun. He stepped closer to Jeremy, placed the palm of his hand softly against the young man's cheek. Leaning in, he whispered gently, "It's going to be OK. I'm here for you, Jeremy. I want to help, you can count on me. I won't leave you. Ever. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and for subscribing. I appreciate any feedback!**

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><p>"Damon. Last time. FUCK OFF. And keep your hands to yourself. You're pissing me off. I came here to be alone. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not really a fan of yours. And," he paused, "I know what you're doing." Jeremy abruptly stood up straight and stared at him with disdain.<p>

"What? What am I doing, Jer? I'm merely offering support, my assistance. Elena has been distracted since Jenna's, um, untimely death and Stefan's disappearance. You're probably feeling alone, like you have no one to turn to. I get it. I miss Stefan, I've lost my brother, the only one who actually gave a damn about me. So, I can kinda relate to what you're going through." The teen didn't respond, just stared back at him, the distrustful expression clearly evident. Shit, this wasn't going according to plan. Damn these Gilberts and their obstinate streak.

Jeremy began to move away from him, slowly, like he was expecting to be stopped again. He let the boy pass, hands up in mock surrender, and kept watching as Jeremy disappeared into the darkness. Well, he obviously was going to need a Plan B.

* * *

><p>Elena pulled back from his embrace, reaching into her back pocket to retrieve the vibrating cell phone. "It's Jeremy. He says he's at the cemetery. What? He left early to go for a walk? That's <em>so<em> not true. He totally didn't come home last night or I would have known." She turned on her heel and began to stride back down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" he called after her.

"To find him. To find out where he's really been."

Crap. The girl simply couldn't leave well enough alone. Speeding by her, he effectively blocked her exit route. "Elena. Leave the poor kid alone. He clearly wants to be by himself. Why can't you respect that? Give him some time. When he comes back to the house, you can talk to him then. He'll only be pissed off if he thinks you're stalking him."

Elena looked at him, frowning. "You're probably right. Since when have you started giving good advice?" She suddenly smiled. "Well. Since I'm here, let's look for clues on the computer. I think we're getting close to finding Stefan."

Shit. Not in the plan. He was anxious, wanting to get back to his room, but _without_ Elena in tow. "Sorry, Nancy Drew. Got plans. I'll text you later when I'm back in town." He steered her, protesting, to the front door.

Sighing, he finally closed the heavy front door behind her. Turning, he found himself face to face with Jeremy. Who was fully dressed, his face expressionless. "I'm leaving." The teen announced. Moved to walk around him. He felt that reoccurring sinking feeling. The unfamiliar sensation that had started happening recently. Every time Jeremy left him.

"Don't go" he coaxed, draping his arms around the boy's shoulders. "You don't need to be anywhere. I bought you some time."

Jeremy shrugged off the hug. "_I_ bought myself some time. And I have to go home to get cleaned up for work. Seriously dude, you're worse than a girl. Uumph." The last sound was made as he landed on the floor on his back. "Jesus, Damon. Are you trying to kill me? Let me up."

"No. Not until you take that last statement back." He pressed his weight along the length of the body under him. He felt Jeremy relax. Heard him say, "You are such an ass. I was only kidding. Although if I didn't know better, I might think you were actually into me. Wanting me to stay overnight, begging me not to leave. You sound almost desperate."

Jeremy laughed, looking up with a mischievous grin. Christ, that smile. It caused a rush of heat to course through his normally cool interior. Just to see the normally well-defended teen enjoying himself, even if it _was_ at his expense. Shook his head. What the hell did he care if Jeremy was momentarily happy? This wasn't supposed to be about Jeremy. It was about making Elena crazy.

Although how was that supposed to work when he and Jeremy were being extremely careful to hide their late night trysts? He told himself that he was waiting for the moment when Jeremy admitted affection for him, declared undying love…or something along those lines. Yet, currently, there was no sign that day would ever arrive. Jeremy's nightly cries of passion never once translated into expressions of devotion during the day.

In fact, the youngster made it pretty clear that his 'involvement' was strictly for physical reasons, Jeremy wanted nothing to do with him outside the bedroom. And that, for some reason, had begun to bother him. Again, he pretended it was because Jeremy was screwing up his plan to make Elena's life miserable.

He couldn't help himself. He leaned down to capture Jeremy's mouth with his. Felt the soft lips yield to his kiss. Felt the tongue in his mouth, exploring gently at first, then with more force as their kiss deepened. Jeremy groaned and began to thrust his hips upwards, grinding against his willing body. He responded by sliding up and down along Jeremy's moving form.

He couldn't help himself. The boy was beautiful. And hot. And _incredibly_ sexy. And he definitely knew how to move. He rolled, pulling Jeremy with him.

He couldn't help himself. He _liked_ being underneath the teen. Liked looking up at the closed eyes, the still face, the smiling, slightly parted lips knowing that he was responsible for taking away the pain of Jeremy's life. Even if it was only temporary.

As Jeremy leaned down to recapture his lips, he thought back to that night in the cemetery, the night he devised Plan B.

* * *

><p>Well. If Jeremy wasn't about to accept his offer of self-imposed confidant, he'd have to take another angle. What could possibly piss Elena off more than he, Damon, becoming Jeremy's new BFF? Why, becoming Jeremy's BF of course. Interesting thought, he mused to himself, kicking at a toppled gravestone. And how, exactly, would he make<em> that<em> work?

Jeremy was with Bonnie, although the wicked-witch-of-Mystic wasn't in town these days. He'd never heard even a whisper of a suggestion that Jeremy might be open to some boy-on-vampire action, but what the hell? It could be fun to try.

Reaching a decision, he sped out of the cemetery and followed Jeremy down the quiet street, being careful to keep his distance. Jeremy walked slowly, his shoulders hunched, turning occasionally to look backwards, towards the cemetery. Looking for what? Or whom?

* * *

><p>He made sure he was lying casually on the bed, hands behind his head, legs crossed, when Jeremy entered the bedroom. "Jesus Christ, Damon. You just about gave me a fucking heart attack. What the hell are you doing in my room? I thought I was pretty clear about not wanting you around. Go stalk my sister. She's more your type."<p>

The teen strode angrily across the room and attempted to push him off the bed. Impulsively, he grabbed the boy's arm and pulled Jeremy onto the mattress. Rolled over to pin the younger male under him.

He could hear Jeremy's heart beating furiously as the frightened youngster struggled against him. "I've got my ring on, Damon. You can't kill me. And I don't want you sucking me."

He felt Jeremy go still and then they both were laughing. "OK" snorted Jeremy, "So that didn't sound exactly right. What I meant to say was…."

"Yeah, yeah" he replied, still holding the boy's arms captive, "I know what you meant to say. Although, actually Jeremy, if I was to tell the truth….I wouldn't mind if you sucked on _me_. And I'm not referring to my neck."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks for the reviews, you guys are very encouraging and I'm glad you're reading along. Also thanks to the 'silent' readers. Fairly short chap this time, I was in a waiting room for a while and needed to put in the time! **

My Plan Needs An Adjustment (or Two)

For a moment he thought he'd blown it. Jeremy had gone completely immobile, his face unreadable. And then he'd begun to laugh again, albeit somewhat hysterically.

"Very funny, Damon. You're friggin' hilarious, dude. But I happen to know you don't roll that way. I've seen the way you stare at my sister when you don't think anyone's watching. And I seem to recall a certain reporter named Andi walking around town with a slightly noticeable, ever-present neck scarf. Oh…and didn't you even get it on with Caroline when you first came back to Mystic? You have quite the reputation as a male slut. So, nice try and get the hell off me. I'm tired."

He stared thoughtfully down at the young man's face. Noticed the freckles (or were they small moles?) that formed a triangle on Jeremy's cheek. Cute. Moved to trace them with his finger. Jeremy reached up and knocked his hand away. Turned his face to avoid his gaze.

"Hmm." He drawled lazily, "For someone who professes not to be a fan, you seem to have been paying close attention to my love, or should I say, _sex_ life? What's that about, Gilbert? Jealous much?"

Jeremy pushed up against his body in an attempt to dislodge him. "You are so fucking conceited, Salvatore. You think everyone is all about you. I notice your so-called 'sex life' because you throw it in everyone's face. Discretion is NOT your middle name."

He captured the boy's flailing arms and held them still along Jeremy's sides. "But it _could_ be, Jeremy. I can be discrete, you know. I _would_ be discrete, if something was to happen between you and I."

"I can not believe we are still having this conversation. Why would I want to have sex with you, Damon? I'm not attracted to you, I don't even _like_ you. And I think you're just trying to have a go at Elena. You want to get back at her because she keeps choosing Stefan over you. So, what better way to screw with her head than to screw with her little brother? You're twisted, man. And obvious."

He hadn't realized Jeremy was so insightful. He had always thought of him as a slightly dopey dope head. Maybe there was more to the lad than he'd previously thought. He rolled off the teen and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Well. That hurt, Gilbert. I didn't realize the depth of your disdain. And cynicism. Another trait you share with your quasi-sister. Clearly I've been wasting my time trying to protect you two. I knew I should have stayed clear of this one horse town."

He felt Jeremy turn onto his side, sensed the teen's eyes on him. Kept his eyes focused on the ceiling, refusing to meet the boy's glare.

"I don't believe you. I don't believe what I think about you matters, that you care whether I like you or not. You're just trying to make me feel sorry for you, so that you can take advantage. And what I'm also thinking is, that if I were to kiss you right now, you'd stop this stupid game. Because you'd be so freaked out. You'd run as fast as your little vampire feet could carry you back to Andi."

He turned on his side to face the teen. "Try me."

* * *

><p>Jeremy abruptly withdrew from their kiss and awkwardly pushed himself into a standing position. "Sorry, Damon. I really have to get to work. And I'm going to have to deal with Elena. I'll see you tonight?"<p>

"Jesus. She's a cock blocker even when she's not physically in the room. I can't believe you're going to leave me like this." He pointed down towards the telltale bulge in his jeans. "Come on, Jer. Not even a quick hand job? Help a guy out, you've got the 'magic touch'. I promise I'll return the favour, pleeease?"

Christ, Jeremy was right. He _did_ sound desperate. He was actually begging for it. So beneath him. He winced as Jeremy began to laugh, cringed as the teen blew him a kiss, and pounded the floor in frustration as the door shut behind the boy.

Oh my God, he _so_ needed a Plan E. Or was he up to Plan F by now? He'd lost count. Damn those Gilberts and their puppy dog eyes.

Answered his phone almost angrily, "What? Ric. Yeah, I'm ready to go. You might not like what we find, I hope you're up to seeing Stefan's handiwork, it won't be pretty."

* * *

><p>Jeremy stared back at him, a questioning look in his eyes. "Seriously? You want me to kiss you? I don't know, dude. I've never kissed a guy, I think it would be weird." But the teen didn't move away.<p>

'OK' he thought to himself, 'He's actually contemplating this. More than I could have hoped for. So. Play it cool. Don't blow it. This is a great opportunity." He lay perfectly motionless. Contemplated his next move. He didn't want to spook the kid, he needed to be careful, calm.

"Why weird?" he finally dared to ask. "Kissing is kissing, isn't it?" He paused. Jeremy's dark brown eyes were fixated on his lips as he spoke. "Besides. You won't know what kissing a guy is like unless you try it. And here's your chance. Because I _want_ you to kiss me."

Jeremy visibly tore his gaze away from his mouth. Looked at him. _Really_ seemed to look at him, as if for the first time. "Honestly? You aren't just saying that because of Elena? You actually _want_ me to kiss you?"

'Got him' he exclaimed jubilantly in his head. Aloud he said, "Jeremy. You're hot. Totally hot. Of course I want you to kiss me." Waited. This had to come from Jeremy. He needed the young man to make the first move, it was necessary that Elena knew Jeremy started this.

He felt the teen take a deep breath, followed by a heavy sigh. Heard the mortal's heart thumping. Knew without a doubt that this was actually going to happen. He could have rubbed his hands with glee, except that would be tacky. And, clearly, it would ruin the moment. He forced himself to keep quiet.

Waited with anticipation. Finally felt lips on his. Firmer than a woman's. Warmer. Different. But definitely OK, it felt all right. Jeremy's lips moved lightly across his at first, then with more pressure. Holy shit, this was definitely _more_ than all right. And then. Jeremy's tongue abruptly entered his mouth. He snapped open his eyes in surprise.

The younger man had_ his_ eyes clenched tightly, as if trying to shut out what was happening. But it wasn't_ him_ forcing this on Jeremy, it was _Jeremy_ exploring every crevice of his willing mouth, it was _Jeremy_ rolling their tongues together, it was _Jeremy_ reaching up to softly stroke his cheek as their kiss deepened and became ardent, fervent.

Then. Both of them exploring, seeking. Demanding more with their mouths, their hands. Holy shit. This was intense.

He felt his body reacting. This fact startled him in the same way Jeremy's unexpected ardor had. He found himself responding to Jeremy's touch, to his kiss. He was getting hard. Wow. Who knew?

And then the other male pulled back. Opened his eyes. And began to laugh. "Shit. That _was_ weird. I knew it would be." Christ. He was going to need a Plan C. And a very cold shower.


	4. Chapter 4

Things Are Complicated

He could smell the beer on him. Beer and male teen. Standing at the foot of the bed he watched Jeremy sleep. The young male was restless in his slumber, twitching, moaning. He was tempted to enter the dream, to see the cause of such distress.

But he had had a shit day himself. Elena and her fucking need to rescue his ungrateful sibling. And then. Stefan saving him from that freak. Humiliating. He could have taken down that deranged hybrid without his brother's intervention, he was sure of it. He had just needed a few more minutes. Trust Stefan to further indenture him.

And damn Elena. She obviously was concerned about him, hadn't wanted him hurt. Or killed. A month ago he would have been thrilled to know she cared. But now he just felt conflicted. And annoyed.

Besides, what the hell had Jeremy been doing with that blond bimbo? And why was the young man passed out in his own bed rather than lying naked, waiting at the boarding house for _him_ as arranged?

Elena was in the next room, he could hear her moving about. Undressing, climbing into bed, tossing and turning. She would be reliving the fruitless search for Stefan and the werewolf pack. Or perhaps she couldn't shake the image of the hybrid attacking. Maybe, he thought viciously, she was dreaming of _him_. He certainly hoped so. It would serve her tortured soul right.

Returning his attention to the bundled form lying tangled in the sheets, he thought back to that first time he had lain on Jeremy's bed. The night Jeremy had first kissed him.

* * *

><p>Jeremy continued to laugh, flopping onto his back. "I can't believe I just kissed Damon Salvatore. Of all people. Or should I say, of all <em>vampires<em>?" He sounded extremely, annoyingly, pleased with himself, as if he had just succeeded at a party dare.

"Well, I'm glad I was able to amuse you" he responded huffily, also turning onto his back. Staring up at the ceiling he wondered why he was so bothered by the teen's response to their kiss.

Jeremy must have caught his tone because the youngster instantly turned, hoisted himself onto his elbow and leaned over him. "What? Didn't you think it was kind of strange? Kissing a guy, I mean? Or have you kissed guys before?" The teen sounded curious, a bit anxious.

"No, Jeremy. I have not kissed a guy before. At least, not like that. And, no. I didn't find it strange. I actually liked you kissing me. And I could have sworn that you liked it too. So whatever, man. However, I _did_ tell you that I wouldn't run back to Andi. And I didn't, did I? In fact, I wouldn't have stopped. I would have kept kissing you."

He could have sworn Jeremy blushed at that point. The young man briefly closed his eyes. "Damon." He started. Stopped. Seemed to be searching for words. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, to make fun of you. I guess I was just nervous, freaked out a little. Dude. I don't know. I've never really thought about making out with a _guy_. And it was weird. Maybe not bad-weird. But definitely weird."

"OK, OK," he growled impatiently. "I get it. It was weird. You're not into me. You don't need to go on about it. I'll leave you alone." He made to get up. Was pulled back down, abruptly, hastily.

They were kissing again. This time with fire, vehemence. Jeremy was holding nothing back now, lips searching, commanding, tongue dominating. He felt the heat start again. He couldn't keep his hands to himself. As if acting on their own volition, his fingers ran through Jeremy's hair, cupped his neck to draw him closer.

Jeremy had somehow removed both their shirts. He was amazed at how sexy it was to feel a hard, muscular chest against his. Little Jeremy had certainly bulked up over the summer, he thought, as he bent to trace a pec with his lips. The teen's heart was pounding in his ear, like waves crashing over a rocky shore.

He made his way down the defined abdomen, admiring the form and feel of Jeremy. He decided he liked kissing a male torso. He could feel muscles flexing as his tongue licked at them, smiled each time Jeremy gasped when he nipped gently at taut, firm skin.

Suddenly he was up against a denim waistband. OK. Now what? Judging by the way Jeremy was pulling at his hair, his breathing ragged, his chest heaving, he would venture a guess that Jeremy was cool with what was currently taking place.

But what would happen if he kept going? Because, God help him, he _wanted_ to keep going. Yet what if Jeremy freaked out again, pushed him away? He would be right back to square one. Without a back-up plan.

Almost as if reading his mind, Jeremy whispered, albeit sounding somewhat embarrassed, (or was it shy?), "Go for it, man. If you think I'm going to tell you to stop at this point, you're crazy."

Alright! The lad was courageous. Or extremely horny. Either way, he was grateful for the encouragement. Because his own dick was hard enough to cut glass right now. And he needed some relief. Trying to use human speed only, he made quick work of Jeremy's fly. The boy bridged as his jeans were hoisted down over his hips and off.

Holy shit. Jeremy-fucking-Gilbert, lying naked and rock hard, on his back, eyes closed in slight trepidation, waiting for him, Damon Salvatore, to suck his dick. Who knew? He almost wished that Elena would walk in at this moment. It would be perfect.

Except it would fuck everything up. Because, truth-be-told, he was hot to do this. Wanted him in his mouth. Wanted to taste him, to pull on him, to get him as hard as he was right at this moment.

He hoped he didn't mess up. Having only been on the receiving end of blowjobs, he wasn't entirely sure how to proceed. On straightened arms, he studied Jeremy's erection from a distance. The guy definitely had length. And girth. Nice one, he mused, high-fiving Jeremy in his mind. OK, OK, he admonished himself, down to business.

But how, where to start? Christ, it can't be _that_ hard (no pun intended), he just needed to do to Jeremy what he liked having done to himself. Right? Simple. OK. Here goes nothing, he thought, surprised to find himself feeling a bit anxious.

Jeremy's voice startled him, breaking his concentration. "Damon. For crying out loud. What the hell are you waiting for? Christmas, for Christ's sake? I'm dying here. Literally. Seriously, dude. You'll be working _a lot_ harder if you hold out on me much longer."

"Sorry," he muttered, "First time jitters." Jeremy laughed at that. "Damon Salvatore nervous. This night just keeps getting better and better. Now make the evening complete and blow me. Again, literally." The kid was a joker.

Sticking his hand down his pants, he grabbed his cock for moral courage, began to stroke himself as he bent over Jeremy. The second his lips landed, he knew it was going to be OK. Great in fact.

God, he wanted to consume him. Jeremy's cock was hard, swollen and tasted fantastic. Sweaty, salty, and slightly sour. He couldn't get all of him in his mouth fast enough. His tongue licked precum and moistened the way for his lips to glide easily down Jeremy's heavy shaft. Oh my God. This was amazing! Instantly, he was grateful for his lack of gag reflex as Jeremy unexpectedly thrust up into his waiting mouth.

He drew his lips tightly around Jeremy's cock as the teen rocked himself out and in, seeking the moist heat again and again. Reveled in the moans and cries of 'holy shit' and 'fuck, Damon.' Over and over. God, he thought amused, the boy sure was vocal in the sack. Figured. The dark, silent types usually were.

He could feel himself getting close to the edge. He couldn't help but employ a little vampire-speed to his hand, dragging it up and down his own dick. He was slick, wet and he'd never wanted to come so badly in his life.

Jeremy was about to blow his load. He could tell, he recognized that pre-orgasmic muscle tenseness, the stillness, the clutching of hands, the sharp intake of breath.

And Jeremy had been right about one thing. It definitely _was_ kinda weird being on the other side of a blowjob. But super cool in that he knew _exactly_ how Jeremy was feeling and how fucking great they both were going to feel in about thirty seconds.

* * *

><p>Jeremy stirred, open his eyes sleepily. He could see him trying to focus in the dim light. "Is that you, Damon? Sorry man. I fell asleep. Matt brought beer and things got strange. I guess I passed out."<p>

'Hmm.' He didn't like the sound of that. 'Strange? What the hell did _that_ mean?' Aloud he whispered, "Shhh. You'll wake your sister. I just wanted to make sure you were OK. I'll go, leave you to sleep." He turned towards the window, planning to exit the way he'd come in.

"No" murmured Jeremy, still struggling into full consciousness. "Come here, I need some distraction from the nightmare I was having." The teen threw back the covers invitingly.

"Well, alright." He grudgingly but obligingly undressed and crawled in beside the warm, relaxed body. Kissed Jeremy on his sleep-swollen lips. "But keep it down. You don't want Elena interrupting us at a critical moment." And realized he actually meant it, he didn't want Elena finding out about this. Whatever _this_ was.

Jeremy only laughed and rolled him over onto his stomach. Whispered into his ear, "Oh yeah? We'll just see who ends up biting the pillow. And we both know it's going to be you, Salvatore."

The worst of it? The kid was right. Shit. Jeremy was kissing the back of his neck, stroking his traitorous, rapidly hardening cock. It felt soooo good. Too good. Damn it, he needed a new plan.


	5. Chapter 5

Leaving Chicago

Christ, he hated her voice. It had been awhile, but he'd have recognized that nasal tone anywhere. Katherine. As if he gave a shit where Stefan and Klaus were. But he couldn't shake their brief conversation.

He'd returned to the boarding house. Jeremy had fallen back to sleep but he was restless. Sex with women drove him to seek blood, to want to kill indiscriminately. He lusted for blood during and after coitus with the fairer sex.

But with Jeremy it was different. Sex with the younger man usually took the edge off. Their nights together left him calmer, feeling almost sane. He wasn't sure why.

Maybe it was because the teen held nothing back in bed. Jeremy was totally uninhibited during sex, never reluctant, never coy. No words needed, no coaxing required. No emotional intimacy needed in order to elicit wild, passionate sex. Essentially, no drama.

But tonight had been different. He had sensed something was troubling Jeremy, that his mind was elsewhere. The youngster had refused to share, claiming only that talking to Matt about Vicki had brought back bad memories. Yet, he wasn't buying it. He knew there was more going on for the teen but he had been unable to get Jeremy to confide in him.

And now Katherine. Damn her and her interference. Couldn't she learn to leave well enough alone? And now he knew where Stefan was. And Elena wanted to see the Ripper, so….

He made a quick decision, returned to the Gilbert homestead, ignored his desire to kiss the still sleeping Jeremy, and instead, woke a less-than-pleased Elena with his new plan.

Which was to track Stefan to Chicago. Elena needed to see Stefan, as he was now, in order to fully comprehend that there was no going back. She had to grasp that there could be no future with the dearly departed Salvatore brother. He wanted her to get it through her thick (albeit pretty) head that _he_ was it, her hope for brighter tomorrows rested with him, NOT Stefan. And then maybe she'd quit wasting her time angsting over something that could never be. Stefan-turned-Ripper would never return to Elena-the-Humane.

Where Jeremy fit into this newly hatched plan, he wasn't sure. He'd worry about that later. Once this stupid trip to Chicago was over.

* * *

><p>Jesus Christ. That Klaus was a total prick. His chest still hurt from the stabbing he'd been forced to endure at the hands of that freak of nature. Never mind the humiliation he had tolerated just to buy Elena some time with Stefan-the-Saint-Recently-Turned-Ripper. Stefan, who was totally deluded by the way, if he thought that Klaus wouldn't find out that Elena was still alive.<p>

That creepy supernatural was a complete megalomaniac. Refusing his, Damon Salvatore's, proposal to trade places with Stefan. Seriously. Who wouldn't give their eyeteeth for the opportunity to swap out the insipid, boring sibling for the more fiery, thrill-seeking Salvatore? Although, to be fair, he actually hadn't meant the offer. He had just wanted to learn more about the fascination Stefan seemed to hold for the hybrid.

Which had been a fail. Klaus apparently was a master of the 'playing it close to the chest' game. So he was none the wiser as to why Klaus was so frigging obsessed with Stefan.

But, on a brighter note, Stefan _had_ told Elena to fuck off. In no uncertain terms. Therefore, the road trip hadn't been a complete wash.

Although, unfortunately, the broken hearted girl had cried the entire way back to Mystic Falls, apparently crushed by Stefan's final words, "I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want to be with you."

He, himself, would never forget those words. Because she must have repeated them a _million_ friggin' times. Over and over. Ad nauseum. But he'd let her go on. He liked seeing her suffer. After all, _he'd_ had to suffer. Having to watch her with his brother all this time. And now she couldn't have Stefan, her supposed true love. Just like he couldn't have her.

He had finally dropped her off at the Gilbert home, had feigned concern, begged her to be OK, and told her he'd see her tomorrow for the Founders' Party. Then got the hell out of there as fast as his car would go.

* * *

><p>He sighed and stepped into the shower. The scalding water felt good, his wounds had healed but he felt slightly dirty from his encounter with that insane vampire posing as a werewolf. Closed his eyes and let the water pour over him.<p>

He heard the tiptoed footsteps in the hallway, the bathroom door slowly creaking open, the hurriedly shed clothes hitting the tiled floor. He smiled despite his bad mood when strong arms wrapped around his chest and pulled him backwards.

"Where the hell have you been?" Asked Jeremy. "I must have messaged you like half a dozen times today and another dozen times tonight. Off imbibing on brunettes? Or are you sampling blondes these days?" The teen reached for the soap and began to lather his still tender chest.

"Gently, gently" he admonished, cringing involuntarily from Jeremy's touch. The younger male stepped around him, peered through the streaming water, attempting to scrutinize his pectoral area.

"What's wrong, Damon? Are you injured? Has someone hurt you? What exactly _have_ you been up to?" His low spirits were buoyed by the concern in Jeremy's voice, the urgency with which the teen questioned him. It was almost as if the lad cared.

He chose not to answer. Kissed the worried youngster. Hard. Jeremy responded by choking. "Water" he gasped, pulling back. "Up the nose. I don't think I'm a fan of shower sex. Too, um, wet."

He nuzzled Jeremy's neck. "I thought the whole point of sex was to get wet. In here we just have a head start." He started sucking gently on the dripping, tender flesh, knowing full well how this drove the teen wild. But Jeremy shook his head, pushed him away.

"I said no, Damon. I shouldn't have come in here. It was a mistake. I'm sorry, I'm going to get out now." Jeremy backed awkwardly out of the shower stall. Grabbing a towel he headed into the bedroom.

Ok, that was rather bizarre. Turning off the now-tepid water, he followed Jeremy out of the steamy room. The teen was sitting on the end of the bed, head in his hands, elbows on his knees.

He knelt in front of Jeremy and placed his hands over the boy's. "What is it, Jeremy? What happened in there?" The boy lifted his head. Oh, Christ. Not those Bambi eyes again.

"The water choking me. Made me think of my parents. Stupid, eh?" Kind of. But he wasn't about to say that aloud. Instead he decided to go with "No. Not at all. Memories can grab us at any time. I'm just sorry that you are still missing your parents so much. I wish I could help."

Jeremy regarded him thoughtfully. God, those eyes. He wished he could read them, wondered what was behind Jeremy's brooding expression. Instead he just fell into those brown pools. He wanted him. Now.

Jeremy's lips parted. He allowed his mouth to be explored, to be dominated. Jeremy dropped his damp towel and dragged himself backwards, using his elbows, up towards the head of the bed. He followed, also naked, crawling, hands and knees on either side of the retreating form.

Leaning over the face he had come to think of as beautiful, he whispered, "Open your eyes, Jeremy. I want you to look at me. You're so fucking gorgeous. I need to look at you. I want to be inside you. Please. Let me make you feel good, make you forget your pain."

Jeremy moaned, the sound barely discernible. The teen reached up and pulled him down. There was no space between them. He could feel every inch of Jeremy. Jeremy's arms were around his back, stroking him, gripping his ass.

How could someone feel so perfect? Taste so wonderful? He couldn't stop kissing him. The teen was like an obsession, a drug. He loved Jeremy's lips, his chin, his neck. He adored his chest, his stomach, his dick. He couldn't stop touching him.

Jeremy began to call out his name, always a sign of his increasing arousal. He could feel both his and Jeremy's cock hardening, stiffening between their moving bodies.

He licked his fingers, reached down and found some space. Pushed his fingers inside Jeremy. Shit, so tight. So hot. Jeremy found a rhythm, ground his hips. His fingers entered and re-entered Jeremy's body, twisting and turning. In no time, it wasn't enough.

"Jer" he whispered into the boy's ear, tickling through wet hair, "I want to fuck you."

"Yeah, OK. Now, please" was the panted response.

He wanted to keep looking at Jeremy. Into those eyes. Those eyes haunted him, made him want to disappear into Jeremy. To be a part of him, with no boundaries. No guise, no guile. Just together, the two of them. No Elena, no Stefan. No one else.

So he stayed on top. Placed Jeremy's long legs over his shoulders. And slowly, gently entered the willing body. Didn't take his eyes off Jeremy's. Watched the boy's eyes widen. Not in pain but in wonder.

He started to move, again, slowly, gently. Held Jeremy's gaze. Watched the dark eyes turn almost black with pleasure, desire. "Holy shit, Damon. That feels so fucking good. Weird, but definitely good." They both started to laugh.

"Now move faster," demanded Jeremy. And he obeyed.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Spoiler Alert! This is great! The episodes of Season 3 are playing beautifully into this story line, it's been smooth sailing with keeping this pair canon up until now. (Of course I say that now and the next episode will blow my story out of the water!) **This chapter is near end of episode 'Disturbing Behaviour'** Please review. And thanks to you guys, this story has more followers than my previously most 'alerted' story, Damon Makes A Mistake. It's all good!**

There's a Fire in My Heart

Jesus, what the hell? He bit down on the arm placed beside him on the bed. Hard. But Jeremy didn't flinch or even pause, the kid was on a mission. The goal of which was apparently was to fuck him through the mattress onto the floor below. And the teen might just succeed. He definitely was getting the pounding of his life.

Although, really, he shouldn't complain. Fast and furious. He could work with that. He managed to scramble onto his knees, Jeremy still deep inside him, and rested his forehead on the rumpled sheets. Ahh, this angle was _much_ better.

Each time Jeremy thrust forward, hitting his prostate, he fought back a scream. A scream of ecstasy, amazement. This was fantastic. Made all the better by the thrill of Jeremy coming to _him_, seeking sex with _him_. Even though the bitchy witch was back in town.

It had thrown him momentarily when he'd learned of Bonnie's return. Even though he'd always known she'd eventually pop up, he had thrust the downer of a prospect to the back of his mind. He hadn't wanted to think of how Jeremy would react. What her return would mean to them, to whatever was happening between them. He had refused to broach the subject, preferring instead to see what happened.

He hadn't had to wait long.

* * *

><p>Fucking Founders' farce of a bake-off. Fucking Forbes and his father-knows-best routine. Fucking fang girl Caroline and her 'daddy-dearest' hang-ups. Fucking fang hunter, Ric, and his meddling on more than one issue that totally didn't concern him. Fucking Elena and her 'you can be better' speeches.<p>

It had felt so good to yell at her. To demand that she stop trying to turn him into Stefan. The hurt on her face had been worth it. Because there had been another emotion in those round eyes. She was totally into him. She knew it. He knew it.

Yet it pissed him off that she didn't have the guts to do anything about it. To admit that there was something between them. The stupid mind games continued and it was beginning to hurt his brain.

So he'd carried Ric back to the boarding house in an extremely foul mood. Tossed the larger man unceremoniously onto the uncomfortable leather couch. Whatever. Let the bastard come back to life, stiff and with a serious neck cramp. What did he care? Ric was turning into a holier-than-thou buzz kill. Some wingman.

He needed blood. Human blood. He tried to kill the desire with half a decanter of bourbon. Straight from the crystal carafe. Managed not to choke or gag. But the alcohol did nothing to dampen the vampire within him. He still craved the taste of fresh, warm blood straight from a throbbing, gushing, jagged carotid artery.

Tossing his head back, he screamed long and loudly into the dark, lonely space. Clenched his fists, paced up and down the room, fighting back the urge to run down to the nearest street corner and snatch up the first unsuspecting, innocent, late night straggler he could find.

He stood there debating his next move. Knew full well there was a supply of blood bags in the basement. Disgusting, cold, universal O negative, plastic tasting blood. God. He felt sick just thinking about it.

Why oh why, did humans matter to him? They hadn't for so long, he'd had no regard for mortals and their petty lives and he had managed just fine. But now. Elena, Ric, not to mention Jeremy.

And what _of_ Jeremy? His plan had been a simple one. To get in the good graces of Elena's sibling, to seduce Jeremy into caring about him. In order to 'get back' at Elena. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Simple. After all, Jeremy had appeared to be in need of a friend.

Yet things hadn't gone according to plan. Make that _plans_. Now, here he stood, knowing that Elena had feelings for him (feelings she continued to deny) and thinking of her brother instead. Thinking about how increasingly distracted Jeremy seemed to be. That the teen seemed troubled, jumpy.

He also wondered where Jeremy was. Was he with that witch of a bitch? Of course he was. Why wouldn't he be? The two of them were 'together'. Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. And Jeremy felt 'connected' to her because she'd brought him back to life. Enough of the air quotes. And the jealousy.

He went back to pacing. Tried to shake the overwhelming urge to vacate the premises to seek human life force. Stared down at Ric. Yup. The backstabber was still dead. Too bad. He could use some company. A verbal fight, anything to keep his mind off the need to kill.

Abruptly, he decided to settle for the dead, syrupy blood stored below. Made towards the basement. The faint knocking on the door stopped him dead in his tracks. Elena? Or Jeremy?

* * *

><p>Oh yeah. This was just what the doctor ordered. A perfect ending to a crappy day. Although he had to say, for the record, if he was human he'd be aching right now. In fact, he'd be begging for a reprieve. God, was this kid <em>never<em> going to get off, reach a climax?

Jeremy was sweating, panting; his arms beginning to show signs of fatigue, trembling had set in. And another thing. Jeremy wasn't his usual chatty self. In fact the lad was downright silent. Not even the occasional moan or shout of encouragement. He didn't know why, but he found their lack of verbal banter disquieting.

OK. Finally he'd had it. Enough already. He was done with this, he was bored and rapidly losing any interest he'd had in this one-sided fuck fest. Collapsing onto his stomach, he felt the teen land heavily on top of him. "Jesus, Damon. What the hell?" He twisted sideways, effectively throwing Jeremy off. The boy landed on the floor in a heap. "Christ" came the muffled complaint.

"I could say the same. What the hell was _that_ about? I thought you came to see me, to be with me. But that little incident felt like I was being punished for something. Don't get me wrong, I'm all up for a little rough and tumble. But I don't like being screwed like an inanimate object. A little consideration would be nice, a bit of give and take. Seriously dude, if I was human, I wouldn't be able to walk straight for a week."

Jeremy didn't move from his huddled position on the floor. "Jeremy. Hey, you. On the floor. Are you listening to me? I'm asking what the hell is wrong with you?" Jeremy still didn't move, his arms wrapped around his head, his legs curled up close to his chest.

Sigh. This was looking like teenage angst. Something he wasn't so good at handling. His bad mood was starting to return. Rolling his eyes a little, he dropped onto the floor alongside the teen. Tried again.

"Jer. Babe. Talk to me. What's going on?" Cringed. Shit. They'd never used terms of endearment, it had just slipped out. Wishing he could retract the one syllable utterance, he put his arms around the slightly shivering body.

"God. You're starting to freak me out, dude. Could you give me a sign that you're still in the land of the living? That you're still human, alive and here with me, in this world?" At that, Jeremy started to laugh, a weird, rather hysterical sound.

"Yeah" he managed to spit out, "_I'm_ human. _I'm_ alive. Unlike most of the population of Mystic Falls. I'm surrounded by things I don't understand, things I don't _want_ to understand. Things are happening to me that I don't know how to handle, that I don't know how to deal with." Yikes, Jeremy sounded like he was about to cry.

"OK. Fair enough. That's why I'm here. To help you, so you can have someone to talk to. I told you. You can count on me."

Jeremy sat up slowly. Stared at him. "You're so full of shit, Damon. I told you, I know exactly what you're up to. Don't think for a minute that I buy that 'babe' crap. You don't care about me, I'm just a pawn in your sick mind fuck game with Elena. And that's fine with me. Because you're a prick. I'm leaving, it was a mistake to come here. I left Bonnie to come here, to be you. What an idiot I am."

That hurt. And honestly, it wasn't the truth that he thought of Jeremy as a pawn. Not completely, anyway. He was confused. Things were getting complicated. Could he really be developing feelings for the male-Gilbert? And what did that mean for his entanglement with the female-Gilbert?

He needed a new plan.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I guess this story should be over soon! Thanks for the reviews, they help keep me going. Also, as usual, there are spoilers in this chapter for all aired Episodes of Season 3, in particular, it takes place between Episodes 5 and 6, after Stefan walks in on Elena and Damon and Katherine and Jeremy find Michael in the crypt. Let me know what you think, cheers!**

I Should Have Stayed Home

He could smell Jeremy, his scent was everywhere. He could hear Jeremy all around him, that distinctive heartbeat, his pattern of shallow breathing. The heart rate and breathing may be slowed, but they were_ definitely_ Jeremy's. What the fuck? Was he going crazy?

He had agreed to come on this stupid road trip because Katherine was up to something and he needed to know what it was. And he had felt the urge to get away. From Mystic Falls and all that was confusing. And that included Jeremy.

Jeremy who had left the boarding house in a huff, refusing to talk to him. Honestly, he couldn't figure out what gave the teenager the right to be pissy. After all, he had tried to reach out, to ask what was troubling the boy.

But noooo. Jeremy had pushed him away, dressed in haste, had practically ran away from his attempts at consoling. The distracted, sexily tousled teen hadn't even paused as he stumbled past Ric lying dead on the couch.

Christ. Jeremy _was_ in the car. He knew it, he could hear the tall teen's body bumping softly around in the trunk. What the hell was Katherine up to? Why had she kidnapped Jeremy Gilbert? She must have rendered the lad unconscious somehow, which would explain the sluggish breathing and heartbeat.

Did she know about the two of them? But how could she? She hadn't been back long enough to spy on him, to see him with Jeremy. Or had she been at the boarding house in the middle of the night? Had she seen Jeremy leaving, half dressed? Had she heard him calling after the teen, begging him to come back?

Because that would be humiliating. God. He couldn't concentrate on Katherine and her lame attempts at seducing him. His thoughts were on Jeremy and wondering what Katherine was planning. If she knew about the two of them, why would that necessitate knocking out Jeremy and dragging him along on their quest?

Unless she had some other motive for stealing Jeremy. But what? This was crazy. _He_ was going crazy. He couldn't stand not knowing what the hell Katherine was up to. Making an abrupt decision, he pulled the car over. Tossed the keys.

* * *

><p>He reached out to gently dab at the wound. Jeremy flinched. "Shit. That hurts. Leave it alone. I'll do it myself."<p>

"Jeremy. Honestly. I want to help. But you're no making it easy. It's taking all my willpower right now not to attack you. Do you have any idea how the smell of your blood affects me?"

"No, Damon. Actually I don't." The teen spoke in a rather sarcastic tone, "You never talk about your vampire tendencies around me. I only get to _hear_ about your stupid vampy stunts from other people, usually well after the fact. Like killing Ric. So, no, I have no clue as to how the scent of my blood affects you. Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me?"

He took the boy's head in both hands, no longer even attempting to be careful of the gash on Jeremy's forehead. Looking deep into those limpid brown eyes, he forced himself not to yell, to speak in an even tone.

"Jeremy. Every time I am near you, kissing you, fucking you, and long after you leave, your smell surrounds me, haunts me, consumes me. The scent of your blood is like a drug to me, it draws me to you, makes me want to fuck you senseless, commands me to bite your flesh and drain you dry.

But I don't drink from you or even ask to. Because I know that would be it for me. I'd be bound to you forever, and you'd never get rid of me. Your blood would be in me; you would become a part of me.

And I know you don't want that. So I fight my, what did you call them? Oh right, my 'vampire tendencies' to be with you. So. That's how your blood affects me."

He let go of Jeremy, stepped back. Spread his arms, palms towards Jeremy, in a gesture of surrender. "When I knew you were in the car, I was freaking out, trying to figure out what Katherine was up to. Then seeing you, having to pretend nothing was going on between us, that I wasn't worried sick about what she might do to you. It wasn't fun.

And then when I found out that you've been seeing dead people, or rather, dead _specific_ female vampires, I was pissed. Because Jeremy, I've been asking you for days what's bothering you. And you didn't even have the decency to tell me that you'd hooked up with your dearly departed vampire girlfriend."

So _that's_ why you gave me the friggin' head wound? Because you're _jealous_ of a ghost? Damon, you're a fucking idiot." Jeremy laughed. "It's really late. And now that I've told you about Katherine and I locating Michael, I'm going to go." Jeremy made to move around him, out of the bathroom.

"No you're not. You're not going anywhere. You're going to let me kiss you." He grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him close. Jeremy was smirking. He wanted to wipe that stupid grin right off the annoying boy's face. How dare Jeremy make fun of him, mock him?

He kissed Jeremy a little harder than intended, teeth clashed. He thrust his tongue into Jeremy's mouth, he needed to taste him. Jeremy bit down, but not too hard. Apparently the teen was OK with where this was heading.

Which was straight to the bedroom. He walked Jeremy backwards, kissing him, running his hands over the boy's back, up into his hair, pulling him closer and closer. When the back of Jeremy's knees hit the bed, he pushed the teen over onto his back. Landed on top of him.

He could feel Jeremy's erection between them. Ah hah. Knew it. The teen could mock him all he wanted, but the boy was putty in his hands. He drew Jeremy's T-shirt up over his head, kissed his chest. Jeremy's heart was pounding, his blood surging.

The wound on Jeremy's head began to ooze again. Christ. Snarling, he feather kissed down Jeremy's abdomen, undid Jeremy's pants and watched as Jeremy's straining erection broke free.

He licked his way back up the ripped torso, reclaimed Jeremy's lips. The boy moaned and whispered his name. "Yes, Jeremy? What do you want?" he whispered in return.

"I want you to touch me," the teen was almost begging. Nice. This was much better than Jeremy making fun of him. He slowly undid his own jeans. Pulled out his own, hard dick. It was a stretch but, surrounding the two swollen cocks with his right hand, he began to stroke, up slowly almost gently, down fast and hard. Repeated the motion over and over. He loved the alternation of their cocks sliding up and down, the friction created by the movement, their pre-come lubricating his fist.

Jeremy's hips began to rock off the bed, hands fisting in his hair. "Holy shit, Damon. I'm gonna come. Faster, faster. Yeah, like that. Just like that. Arggggh." Ah, he thought proudly to himself, like taking candy from a baby. He continued to hold Jeremy as the teen covered them both in sticky, salty-sweet semen.

"Well, well, well." The voice from the doorway startled him. Damn it, he hadn't been listening for his brother. He had returned to an empty house after dropping Elena off. Assumed Stefan was off hunting hapless humans. And then Jeremy had shown up, making him completely forget about the imminent return of his 'ripper' sibling.

"Isn't this special? Two cozy Gilbert scenes in one evening. My, you've been a busy boy in my absence, Damon. Tell me, dear brother, which of the esteemed Gilbert siblings_ truly_ holds your cold, still heart?"

Shit. Why did all his best-laid plans come apart like this? He _really_ needed to stop scheming. And judging from Jeremy's face, he definitely had some 'splainin to do.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hi, well, it is getting tricky to write around what's happening in Season 3 with Jeremy. I thought I'd take a stab at a couple of more chapters before things get too complicated! This one happens before Episode 6 still and then I'll move things along. Let me know if the story still has your interest, I can always wrap things up in a hurry!**

* * *

><p>Not good. Not good at all. In fact, probably very, very bad. Stefan finding out about him and Jeremy could only mean one thing. Well, it meant <em>something<em>. Just what exactly, he couldn't say. Because he couldn't fucking think straight at the moment.

Jesus Christ. His Superbad sibling had only this minute walked in to find him naked, in bed, with another naked male. Who also just happened to be the doppelganger's brother. The same doppelganger whose blood Stefan was supposedly guarding from all that was evil.

To make matters worse, Stefan had already witnessed Elena and him sharing 'a moment' only hours before. So, naturally, his only recently 'switched off' younger sibling would assume the worst. That he, Damon, had seduced _both_ the Gilberts in one night.

He glanced quickly at Jeremy. The boy's eyes were still on him, his initial look of shock and incredulity replaced with a flat, expressionless stare. Jeremy was definitely the master of the guarded gaze.

Awkward. Incredibly awkward. Although judging by Stefan's face, he was loving every nano second of the discomfort he had created. Except Jeremy wasn't squirming at all. In fact, the teen was standing up, totally unconcerned about the fact that he was completely naked and covered in spunk, and was looking for his clothes.

"Damon" he said eventually, breaking the seemingly never ending silence, which had only occasionally been punctuated by Stefan's rather inane, loud and extremely annoying guffaws, "You are an asshole. I don't know why I keep forgetting that. But I do. For a while. Every time we're together. _I'm_ such an asshole for letting you get to me. So, I'm going to say this for the last time. FUCK OFF. And leave me alone. Forever. Which for you, may not be as long as you like to think."

Stefan started to laugh hysterically at that. Talk about assholes. This new and improved version of the youngest Salvatore could go fuck himself.

"Wait, Jeremy. Stefan doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. Nothing happened between your sister and me. Nothing _is_ ever going to happen. Elena still has this screwed up notion that Klaus' pet vampire here can be saved. She's totally deluded and I was simply trying to show her the light. But you know Elena" his voice trailed off.

Jeremy, fully dressed now, pushed by Stefan who was still leaning against the doorframe, arms folded, apparently enjoying the spectacle. "Bye, little Gilbert" he called out after the rapidly retreating figure, "Do call again. Although you really aren't my type. I prefer human vaginas."

"Ha ha" he retorted, resorting to looking for his own clothes. "Thanks a lot, Stefan. I wasn't really finished with him. And you seriously are screwing up my plan. Why couldn't you have just minded your own business?"

"Because, brother dearest, the Gilberts _are_ my business. And keeping both of them as far away from you as possible is in my best interests. Because it is in Klaus' best interests that my older brother stops interfering with the doppelganger. So, this is my warning. Leave the Gilberts alone. The female _and_ the male. Or face the consequences." He turned to leave.

"Don't I get the chance to make a retort, a snappy come back? " He yelled at Stefan's back. "Like, oooh, I'm _so_ scared. Or, bring it on little ripper, do your worst? Or even, you can't tell me what to do, I'm older than you? Come one, Stefan. I'm only playing around with Jeremy, what's it to you?"

Stefan only waved his hand in the air above his head and kept walking down the hall. Shit.

What he really wanted to say this dangerous imitation of a brother was 'leave Jeremy alone, don't touch him.' Along with, 'don't tell Elena'. Standing there, naked and alone, he thought, "This isn't what I meant to happen. I should be thrilled that Stefan has found out, that he might tell Elena. Watching her face as Stefan spilled the beans should be fun, an occasion to gloat about.

But, why then, did he just feel sick? Why did he feel this weird urge to protect both the siblings, to not cause them further emotional pain? And why did he feel like running after Jeremy, groveling at his feet, begging Jeremy not to be mad, that Stefan was just being a jerk, that his brother had misunderstood the scene between him and Elena?

He didn't even think Jeremy would listen at this point. It was clear that Jeremy just saw him as a diversion, that the teen was in the throes of teen angst, struggling with feelings for both Anna and Bonnie.

He should understand that. Because wasn't he actually admitting to himself that he had feelings for both Elena and Jeremy? Yet, he wasn't supposed to become emotionally involved with humans at all. Mortals were for sexual pleasure, for food, and for playing head games with. They weren't to be trusted, to be cared about. That was what he had decided a long time ago.

Sinking back down onto the rumpled bed, he pulled the comforter around him. Jeremy. It smelled like Jeremy. His sweat, his sex, his essence. The familiar scent comforted him and disquieted him at the same time.

Christ. What a mess.

* * *

><p>He couldn't stay away. He knew he should, that it was safer to let Stefan think he was done with him. But Stefan was busy with the numerous blondes and brunettes he kept parading through the boarding house, feeding on them, having sex with them (and not in the missionary position either, or even one at a time), compelling them.<p>

It was actually torturous to watch. Funny that. He'd changed. It used to be him that was prone to orgies and gorging himself on a bevy of bimbos.

Jeremy's window wasn't locked. He climbed in. He could hear the boy in the shower. Feeling rather nervous, (another foreign feeling he thought he had left behind long ago) he sat down on the bed. He could hear Jeremy talking to someone but couldn't hear a response. Anna.

Jeremy entered the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. Still wet. He couldn't help it, he felt himself grow hard.

But Jeremy didn't look happy to see him. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought we agreed that you were going to leave me alone. I'm kinda busy."

"Talking to Anna? Is she here now, in the room with us?" He glanced around, but couldn't get even a shadow-glimpse. It was frustrating, Jeremy being able to see the dead, but it also made him apprehensive. Surely no good could come of the teen's new-found powers.

"No. She's gone. I don't think she's a fan of yours. Like me. I really don't want to see you, Damon. I've got problems enough without you stalking me."

"Jeremy." He stood up and approached the shivering male. "Jeremy, I care about you. I want to help. I can't stand to think of you alone with all this. Honestly."

Christ. Why did the dude laugh at him _every _time he tried to reach out? It was crushing.

"You're so full of shit, Damon. And this is boring. You claim to 'care'; you tell me that you want to help me when all you _really_ want is to fuck me and to rub Elena's face in it. I get it. Revenge. It's what motivates you. But it's so mundane and predictable. Blah blah blah. You really need a new line."

He growled. Grabbed the naked torso in a bear hug. Jeremy began to struggle, effectively causing the towel to drop onto the floor. God, Jeremy felt sooo good. He could stay like this forever, just holding the now still teen. He whispered into the damp ear.

"Jeremy. Don't you get it? If I'd simply wanted to seduce you in order to get to Elena, I could have told her about us days ago. You and I have been spending nights together for weeks now. And it's pretty clear that _you_ are the one using _me_. You leave every morning and run back to Anna or Bonnie. Or both. Whatever.

Just don't lie to yourself, it's not _me_ who's the asshole. You're just as guilty as I am of using a situation to your advantage. Although, I must admit, I _am_ confused as to why you've been sleeping with me when you claim to have feelings for others and none for me. If you hate me so much, Jeremy, why do you keep coming back? And why do you let me in, you could rescind your invitation into your room, block me from 'stalking' you. But you don't.

Instead, you get hard every time I touch you. Like now. Your smell, your heartbeat and your breathing tell me you're turned on. _I_ do that to you. Not Anna, not Bonnie. You like having sex with me, you love it so much that you think about me when I'm not around, you come looking for me despite being with Bonnie, you let me in even when you think it's wrong. So, Jeremy. Go ahead and pretend that you hate me and that you're done with me.

But we both know, it's not true. Even if it _is_ just sex you want from me. You still want me. Admit it. Go ahead. I dare you, be a man. Tell me what I do to you, how I make you feel. Tell me you want me."


	9. Chapter 9

AN: OK, getting near the end I think. Thanks to **tablekorner** for pointing out an invitation can't be revoked on TVD. (I get my vampire TV shows mixed up sometimes.) Thanks again for the reviews and to those reading along. Please let me know what you think of this chapter...

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><p>"Jer? Jeremy? I need to talk to you." Jesus Christ. It was like she had a sixth sense, her ability to interrupt a pivotal moment unparalleled. He could feel Jeremy tremble in his arms, although he couldn't be sure whether it was from the chill the teen was probably experiencing (he knew his own body temperature wasn't exactly warming the naked lad up) or at the thought of being found in the arms of someone other than Bonnie.<p>

Strike that. The_ last_ person in the world Elena would want her brother to be embracing was himself. And didn't he _know_ that? Wasn't that why he had put this whole ridiculous plan in motion? To punish Elena for choosing Stefan over him?

So, just because his best-laid plans hadn't exactly panned out, wouldn't _this_ moment be perfect timing? To have Elena walk in on him and Jeremy now? Late at night, in Jeremy's room, Jeremy naked and in the arms of Damon Salvatore? To see the astonishment in those doe eyes replaced with dawning understanding, her shocked expression fading to pain, hurt? Wasn't revenge what this was all about?

Except it wasn't. _He_ knew it and he had tried to tell the teen how he felt but Jeremy wasn't having any of it. Of course, one couldn't blame the boy. He didn't exactly have the greatest track record when it came to being honorable. But Jeremy's ongoing rejection was killing him. He wanted to be trusted, to be loved.

There. The words were out. Well, not exactly _out_ but he had finally admitted to himself what he'd known, deep down, for a while. He had feelings for Jeremy that didn't involve using the teen as a pawn in a game with Elena.

But what of Elena? Hearing her voice on the other side of the door _did_ cause him pause, did cause him to react. He loved her. But was that love changing? Was it part of something else, something different than what he'd thought he felt for her?

NO. This was bullshit. He didn't want to care about anyone alive. Humans were too complicated and they weren't around long enough. There was no sense in investing emotions in them. And least that's what he kept trying to tell himself.

He found himself staring into Jeremy's dark eyes. Jeremy was looking at him questioningly, almost as if the other male could hear his inner struggle.

Elena spoke again, more loudly now. "Jer. Bonnie's really upset. She thinks you're leaving her behind, that you have stronger feelings for Anna, that you want Anna to come back. She's worried that you don't know what you're dealing with, that Anna's presence may not mean good things. Jer, you need to talk to Bonnie. Tell her you love her. Please, Jer. Anna's a ghost. Bonnie is real, she's here and she cares about you. She sacrificed a lot by bringing you back to life. You can't just ignore her."

Jeremy began to shake again. Without thinking, he drew the teen closer to him, made soothing noises in Jeremy's ear, caressed his back. He heard Jeremy choke back a sob. Wow. He hadn't realized how all of this was impacting on Jeremy. But it made sense. Ghost vampire love. Live witch love. Heady stuff.

And_ he_ was an additional complication. How _he_ figured into Jeremy's confused thoughts was unclear. But he definitely was making the teen suffer, his presence and demands only adding to all this unwanted, unsolicited entanglement. The boy must be going crazy.

"Jer. I know you're awake and that you can hear me. Please let me in. I want to help."

Reaching a decision, he pulled away from Jeremy. "I'll go" he whispered softly, "I'm making things worse for you. Elena's right. You need to sort out your shit, decide where you're going to land on the subject of Anna versus Bonnie. You don't need me fucking with your head. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. Like you've been asking. I get it, Jeremy. Just know that I'm here if you need me. Anywhere, anytime."

He turned to go. He walked slowly, heavily to the closed window. Drew back the curtain. His hand was on the windowsill, raising the glass pane. He was crouched on the ledge, poised to jump.

And was pulled backwards into the room.

* * *

><p>Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy. His warmth exudes, surrounding me, enveloping me. Jeremy. His strong arms pulling me closer, his long legs wrapping around mine. Jeremy. His capable hands stroking my chest, tweaking my sensitive nipples, splaying across my ribs, slowing descending, tangling in my dark pubic hair.<p>

Jeremy. Jeremy. I ache for his hands on my hard, stiff cock. I need his touch, I rock against him. He responds by kissing my neck, then bites my earlobe. He knows. He knows what that does to me and I growl. He laughs. Softly, almost tenderly.

Finally. He grabs a hold and begins to stroke. I moan his name into his mouth. Jeremy. He swallows the sound and thrusts his tongue against mine. Jeremy. He tastes so fucking good.

I slide my hands down his back, grab that fantastic ass, pull him down towards me. Our erections meet and he finally makes that noise. That hum from deep inside his throat that lets me know I affect him.

I forget the minutes before, the words he uses to tell Elena to go away, convincing her that he needs to be alone. I ignore her retort that she is leaving to go see Bonnie, even though it is very late. Because someone needs to be there for Bonnie, she claims in an angry voice. But I don't care about her anger.

Because Jeremy is here with me. He is undressing me, kissing me, whispering that he _does_ need me; he doesn't want me to go. He murmurs that he can't be alone right now as he pushes me towards the bed, landing underneath me. He lets out a contented 'oomph' as my weight falls on him.

Jeremy. I reach between our legs, searching. He knows instantly what to do and angles himself. I hear him cry out with pleasure as I thrust fingers into his hole and he lowers and raises himself again and again until my hand aches with the force of him.

And we are kissing and kissing and kissing. Like we will never stop. There is no one else in the world right now. No Elena. No Bonnie. No Anna. No ripper brother. No Klaus lurking in the shadows. It is just Jeremy. The two of us. Together.

"I want you in me." He cries out, bites my shoulder. I roll us, as one. Now I am on top of him. I look down. He is beautiful, flawless. My whole being aches. I don't remember feeling this way, ever. It is different than all the times before.

Jeremy. He is wide open, vulnerable. I have never seen this expression on his face and it takes me a second to recognize what he is feeling. Peace. He is feeling peaceful. And I know instinctively that it has been a long time since he has felt this. And I want him to hold onto that feeling. Oh my god. It is_ me_ who has given him this.

The knowledge suddenly weighs upon me. I lean forward and kiss his forehead. Kiss his eyelids, gently. I seek his mouth and my lips try to tell him what I can't say in words. That he is precious to me, that I want him to feel safe. I want Jeremy to keep this feeling of peacefulness, to have it to hold onto.

He sighs and whispers my name against my mouth. "Damon." And that does me in. It fucks me up and fucks me over. I enter him swiftly, needing to be in him, to feel him, to be surrounded by him.

We are alone in this. The night is ours. I hold him to my body and he responds. He seeks my touch, my kiss. He thrusts up, my cock is sooo deep inside him, and he moans. I'm barely hanging on.

"Damon" he repeats softly and I lose it. I can't hold back, I don't even try. I make love to him. That's the only way to describe it because that's what it is. We make love. It isn't sex, it isn't fucking. It's making love. And it's perfect. Because he is perfect. And I feel perfect when I am with him.

* * *

><p>He looks down at the sleeping boy. Jeremy's face is relaxed. But he realizes the peaceful expression has vanished. He grimaces as he realizes that Jeremy's world will come crashing back when the teen awakes. He wishes it wasn't so.<p>

His mind drifts back, reliving the night. He feels himself begin to smile. Then. At that exact moment, Jeremy speaks in his sleep. A single word. A name. And if he had a heart, surely it would break. Because the name isn't his. "Anna" murmurs Jeremy.


	10. Chapter 10

He missed him. He fucking missed him. Every moment of every day. His smell, his body, his touch. His crooked smile, his dark, soulful eyes. His corny sense of humour. But most of all, he missed his presence. His nearness. His humanity.

And it pissed him off. That he couldn't be the one. The one to bring a grin to his face. The one to make him forget about all the shit surrounding them. He wasn't enough. That had been made obvious.

He hadn't seen him since that night. The night they'd last been together. The night he'd opened himself up and thought the depth of his emotion was reciprocated. But he'd been wrong. Because Jeremy didn't love him, the boy's heart and thoughts were with another. A dead other. So fuck it.

Shit with Klaus, Stefan and Elena was heating up, not leaving a lot of thinking time. He was grateful for this. He couldn't bear to mull over his humiliation at the hands of a mortal teenager any longer. No. Dwelling and ruminating were not his style. He wouldn't waste energy wishing for things that weren't, that couldn't be.

Instead, his hurt and anger drove him. He would kill that bastard Klaus and free Stefan. Because he was sure of himself and his ability to save his brother. But he had failed to win Jeremy's heart. That was clear. Even in sleep, Jeremy chose a ghost over _him_, the once heartless vampire who would have protected and served the teen to the end.

Elena talked about her brother occasionally, small things, during their planning sessions. Little details of Jeremy's life away from him. The first day of school. Seeing Vicki. Bonnie's sense of betrayal at the hands of Jeremy. At least Vicki and the others were now gone, driven back. But Anna remained. Elena spoke briefly of her concern for Jeremy, her annoyance with Anna.

But mainly Elena talked about Stefan. She was focused on ending Stefan's ties to Klaus and to breaking Klaus' need for her. And who could blame her? Klaus threatened everything and everyone she loved.

Yet Elena didn't know all the plan entailed. They needed to keep her safe. Stefan had argued with him at first, wanting to tell Elena everything. He had won that fight, Stefan realizing in the end that Elena needed protecting. As usual.

So, tonight was the night. He was pumped, stoked for the upcoming events. Everything was in place. The other two had already started their part, gone to the scene of the showdown. And he was up in his room, ready to leave for the party.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rings insistently, urgently, almost angrily. The sound is accompanied by pounding, fist banging, knuckles bruising in their relentless attack on the solid wood door.<p>

'Alright, alright.' He mutters as he descends the stairs, 'Keep your shirt on.' Opens the door to come face to face with the one he's been wasting precious seconds thinking about.

Jeremy storms past him, into the living room. The fire is roaring, casting shadows around the darkened room. The teen looks ferocious, fists and jaw clenched. Like he wants to murder someone.

"Why have you been avoiding my texts and calls? Why haven't I seen you in days? I know you've been at our house to see Elena but you make sure it's when I'm not there. I don't get it Damon. I thought we were past the bullshit, the mind games. I fucking told you that I _loved_ you. And then you left me. The very thing you promised you'd never do." Jeremy stands still, fuming, waits for an answer.

He's stunned. Speechless. Thoughts race through his mind. Unbidden memories of their last night together. Jeremy lying beneath him, wide open, trust in his eyes and in his body's response. Jeremy murmuring his name, over and over. Telling him not to go, to never leave him.

He shuts his eyes. Because he remembers his response to Jeremy's pleas, his promise to never disappear, to always be there for him. Because he loves this boy.

Shaking his head, he pulls himself back. "Yeah. You told me that. Right before you fell asleep to dream about Anna. You called out _her_ name. Not mine. And judging by the tone of your voice when you said it, you weren't telling _her_ to get lost. You were telling _me_ how you really feel, that it's her you want to be with. Not me."

He shrugs. Looks at the teen's stricken face. Jeremy is no longer angry. He hears the younger man's heart beat change, from a loud banging to quick fluttering. Angry to anxious. Whatever. He needs to be leaving; Elena and Stefan are counting on him.

But Jeremy is talking, striding towards him, placing a hand against his still chest. "Damon. What the hell are you talking about? You're blowing me off because I talked in my sleep? Are you fucking kidding me? How do you know what I was dreaming about? Were you in my dream?"

He hadn't been. He'd reacted immediately, had left without trying to find out what exactly Jeremy was dreaming about. He hadn't wanted to know. Couldn't face the thought of Jeremy wanting Anna more than him.

"I thought not." Jeremy reads the changing expression on his face, continues. "Damon. You've got it all wrong. In fact, you don't know anything. You just assumed the worst. You don't trust me. Or my feelings for you. You threw everything between us away without even bothering to talk to me. You're an ass. And this time it's over for good. Because what is anything without trust?"

Jeremy pulls his hand away and turns.

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><p>As always, Jeremy is walking away from him. Only this time, he deserves it. He's fucked up. Jeremy offered him his heart and he destroyed it, as surely as if he'd driven a wooden stake right through their love.<p>

Except Jeremy wasn't a vampire. So Jeremy's heart would mend and he'd go on. But not him, _his_ heart would never mend. He leaves the house wishing he could go back to being the old Damon, the vampire who had switched off. Better yet, he wishes for his life back. For the time when he was human, because then, maybe he'd have stood a chance.

A chance to give his heart away. And to have it held by another. Without the years of pain and loneliness causing him once again to falter, to mistrust everyone. Including the brown eyed boy who had made him feel, for a time, like he'd actually had a heart to give.

**A/N: The end. This is it for me for a while. I am really liking Season Three so hope the next installment provides fodder for all you TVD fanfic writers and readers. Take care and thanks for reading.**


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